Wednesday, September 14, 2011

One day I'll wake up.

Despite having only had 4 days of classes I am a disaster zone regardless and feel like I have worked non-stop since August. One day I shall crawl out of the hole of unfounded self-pity that I have dug myself. Until then this is a bullet-pointed summary of life,love and fishing games.

- Being a Brit in a class about the evil British colonisers is a little intimidating. I think as the class continues I will slowly be moving further back in the rows. I haven't outed myself yet. I need to find the write moment, or to perhaps consult with the Queen so she can help me draft a formal apology.

- Lots of people got up at 4am to watch the Royal Wedding. I only saw the rings, whilst cooking the bacon and wondering why we were even watching that part. I don't see why you would need to watch the wedding when the story has already been so accurately and tastefully documented:

- Despite my initial sadness that the school mascot is a raven as I have an irrational fear of medium sized birds (thank you Alfred Hitchcock), having discovered that his name is Rodney has cured me of my mal a l'aise. I will try to give all my fears silly names in future. I don't have to worry about it for the moment because I'm not taking Algernon Aeroplane until December.

- Walmart is a cruel mistress. It is big, without women's spray deodorant and tempts me into making highly unnecessary purposes. I say unnecessary...I have used the fishing game most days. I'm pretty sure given it has 4 rods that it is not a one player game, but other people might corrupt my immense fishing skills. 

- Canada essentially promotes alcoholism. As there is no 'Value' drink here, the best way to get value for money is to buy alcohol in the bulkiest form. The 1.4 litre bottle of vodka under my desk has been mocking me since yesterday. And also wondering where the number 1.4 was plucked from. As it is only 11am at the moment there will be no further discussion with Vodka at this hour.

- If I don't wash my clothes soon I think the raccoons are going to come for me next.

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