Monday, August 29, 2011

I should pack.

I am leaving England in one human hand worth of days:

I am leaving Luxembourg in one Simpsons hand worth of days

And yet I haven't even looked for a suitcase. Excellent. 

Friday, August 26, 2011

7 Days left in Luxembourg.

It is now a week until I heave my suitcase to Findel airport at 5/6 o clock in the morning and wave goodbye to my sendoff party of none. 7 is a rather important number for my trip. There are 7 days left. My flight leaves at 7. I have lived here almost 7 years. And the population of Luxembourg is about 7 people.

Well...not 7. But to put it into perspective, the population of the third 'biggest' town is not so different from the number of students at Exeter - which in exaggerated mathematics is equal the grand total of 7 members overall who make up the population of Luxembourg.

Luxembourg isn't known for much except for banking. Essentially the day in the life of a Luxembourger is to roll around in money for a few hours and then drink 2euro wine til dawn. All while not appreciating the slightly comical word 'Luxembourger'.

However, despite the lack of self-mocking in some fields, I will miss Luxembourg somewhat while I am away.

Any country that can be behind such a masterpiece as this shall always hold a place in my heart:

Although unlike Papa Pingouin I regret that I cannot stay on my ice float.

Oh and another positive - It isn't Belgium.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

As my washing room fills up with water and Luxembourg is on holiday....

At least Canada can't be any more useless than Luxembourg. How on Earth is this one of the richest countries?

Monday, August 15, 2011

5 things that appear to be less difficult than me completing my Carleton preparation...

1. For a monkey and a duck to find love in the face of adversity.

2. For me to take a trip to the year 3000 where this blog will have gone multi-platinum.

3. For me to successfully walk on water 'a la Jesus'.

4. For a cat to receive a better degree mark than me. 

5. For me to cry myself to sleep instead of resolving the many issues which are denying me the joy of advancing towards the land of excitement.


Denial is a dish best served with Beaver tails.

Reasons for denial -

I am leaving Luxembourg in less than 18 days and....

1. I have not got 2 courses in North American Literature
2. I have not paid my accommodation and I don't know how to.
3. I don't have the money to pay for the accommodation.
4. I don't have a printer.
5. I don't have a washing machine.
6. I don't know where the suitcases are.
7. I don't think I can speak French.
8. I don't have weighing scales to weigh my case.
9. I don't know how I'm getting to the airport.
10. I nearly wrote cupcake instead of airport which makes me think that I may have some trouble getting back into the work/focus mentality.

11. I'm beginning to think that I won't be able to spend EVERYday riding polar bears while I'm there so I might have to expand and socialise.
12. This computer tells me to use 'z' instead of 's' in socialise.
13. Canada writes the date yyyy/mm/dd which is wrong on so many levels and I don't think I'll be able to adapt.

Nothing says denial like a chocolate fondant cupcake.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

5 Things you didn't know about Canadian Wildlife.

Q: What are polar bears called when they get caught in the rain?
A: Drizzly bears.

Q: How does a polar bear stop a VCR?
A: It just presses the "paws" button. 

Q: Where do you find polar bears?
A: It depends on where you lost them.

Q: How do you tell the difference between a seal and an orange?
A: Put your arms around it and squeeze it. If you don't get orange juice, it's a seal.

Q: What has four legs and flies?
A: A Moosequito.


Friday, August 12, 2011

The Day I Found out That I was Going to Canada

It was cold day in Winter
And all through the flat
My belongings were disinter
Grating - just like that.

My laptop, my camera, then -
Down fell my pride -
Though I shouldn't sulk when
Whalan didn't mean to be snide.

I was the only one who
Failed to obtain their first place
And I felt a bit blue
Having it rubbed in my face

But soon I felt glee
And I no longer critiqued.
Canada was always for me,
I had merely felt piqued.

Dedicated to Nancy Mason.

A documentary on the life of the average Canadian.

Many people ask me - Why Canada? 
Et voila.