Monday, November 21, 2011

The Party Don't Start Until I Walk In.

First of all I hope you all enjoyed the badger, and if you haven't seen the badger I wholly encourage you to scroll down as badgers are never ending fun. I would also like to excuse myself for not having posted what I suppose you could call a 'proper' blog post for some time. I have been fairly busy coating myself in maple syrup and riding Polar Bears for my Ice Fishing dates with the local tribesmen, but I'm in Canada so you probably already knew that. Life here has been perfect as of late actually, I can't find a fault with a single thing and every day I wake up I feel like I'm in a Disney film and birds sing to me and dress me and my loveable pet beaver, Hans. So yeah. That is all I have to say. Thanks for reading :)

I jest. I jest. I haven't given up my British cynicism yet. My cynicism that will inevitably leave me sad and lonely in my final years of life as I look at these smug, complacent pandas and cry myself to sleep with my kittens and white wine. I bet these pandas have never sat a mid-term. Today was my first mid-term ever. I had expected something miraculous, extraordinary, magical..or at least some kind of parade..but alas no. The only bonus was I was one of the later people to class today so I got to move to a less irritating classroom - I use the term late loosely. People here seem to think that if they don't arrive at least 15 minutes beforehand that the world might be implode, or they might have to sit in a different seat or something. I can't blame them though really, the pre-class atmos is pretty radical. As the classroom issue, the plastic chairs which swing to and fro throughout the class at first were a source of great joy, but now they are just a pain in the arse. It is slightly irritating when taking notes in class as you gradually get further away from the desk as your chair swings itself out if you make the slightest moment, and as a breathing, living being I tend to make movements fairly regularly. 

The mid-term itself was a little bit lacklustre. I aced all questions on Holes naturally, because if I didn't I would have had to withdraw from society and eat trainers until the day that I died. The rest of the questions I wasn't that interested in. I thought I was studying English to read story books and pretty poems, not to actually 'learn' anything. I didn't know what the punishment for petty theft in 18th century London was, but I'm not going to lose any sleep over it. I did, however, lose about two hours sleep last night which brought me an insane amount of joy. The floor had been pretty quiet for the weekend..it was all a cunning ruse though to create a false sense of security and to send me into a depressed fury with only hours to go before my exam...or possibly people had just happened to plan a social event last night which had no relation to me whatsoever...but I find that pretty damn hard to believe. Luckily I appeased myself by playing the nyan cat game until I could feel my brain bleed and my eyes started to melt into a haze of spring onions and shame. 

If you don't know the nyan cat game:

Use it wisely my friend...use it wisely.

I'm trying to think about what has been going down around these parts as of late, but I'm struggling. I get the feeling I have a lot of work to do, but I also have a greater feeling of denial. There was one day where I ate many of these sour sweets in a row and it made my tongue hurt a bit, so I stopped eating them...and yes I do expect to be nominated for most fascinating blog of the year. 

We had Drama in a place today called 'The Architecture Pit'. In my head this was going to be some kind of crater in the ground where we would be put in metal-plated armour and made to fight bears with spears and our gladiator pride. It turned out that it was just an area with a few ladders, benches and seating area. It was nice, but you know...lacking in bears. The architecture students were in a fury that we were in their territory and glared down at us from the stairwells and planned to crush us all through the power of..architecture, but then they realised they were Canadian and just toodled off in a passive aggressive fashion. The drama class is quite snazzy...if you like throwing bouncy balls and playing eye contact games and acting like an eight year old WHICH I DO! We have been given final scenes to perform. I've been given the part of Juliet for mine..but you could have probably guessed that. I am the definition of sentimental, romantic and beautiful. The only thing that annoys me is that in the scene Juliet is also whiny, irritating and impatient and that is SO not me it hurts. 

Anyway, I can't think of anything else at the moment. Actually that isn't true. I just thought about about what it would be like if I had a kitten. It would be good. The end of term draws near and I will get to experience Canadian 'Finals' which will be an experience and a half...I might get a pinata to get the party started. On the plus side I'm going to Toronto in December with my sister who has planned an impromptu visits. I think impromptu visits are a very good thing...hint hint hint. And if you don't like me enough to spend 500 pounds of your hard earned cash to come to Canada and sleep on my floor while a moan about the cold weather and the inconsistencies in Ralph Waldo Emerson's philosophical essays (see I have learned things!)...well then I don't think we should be friends any more. 

Actually, there is a visit tomorrow. Nancy is coming down from Kansas tomorrow which should be nice and change the Grenville dynamic a bit. From the way people talk here I don't think that many of the guys have met a 'real life lesbian couple', but I just thought I should make it clear to them that YES! It will be just one big massive Grenville orgy, so there is no need to wear that creepy smile of imagination any longer. Welcome to Canada, Nancy. Welcome to Canada...This one's for you and for all those who have been changed by the Eurovision Song Contest in some way or another.

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