Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The Canadian Theory Of Relativity

In all my hours of procrastination I have had a lot of time to think about differences in life in the UK and Canada and here is a summary of the unimportant musings which keep me awake at night - also my new neighbour occasionally keeps me awake...where art thou Simon?

 - When I'm in the UK I consider Sheffield and London I would say they weren't close to one another, even though I could get the train to London in just over two hours. When I'm in Canadia I can get a bus to Toronto in 5 hours, or even New York in 9 hours and I would call them both 'close'. Conclusion - Canada is really big.

- When I was at Exeter I could happily get up out of bed at 7.30 and be spritely for 4 hours of pure seminar action. At Carleton the earliest I have class is at 11.35 and everytime I have to get up for that class I feel as if I am getting up at 4am and I feel my heart and soul fade to grey. Conclusion - Canada makes me lethargic.

- When at home I'd say anything under zero degrees is pretty chilly. In Canada when it was -7 I would say it is a mild day. MILD?!?? Mild for penguins perhaps. Although I do walk like a penguin in the snow though. This is one of the benefits of spending a lot of time with me, myself and I. I can walk like any animal I choose and I'll never judge me for it. Conclusion - Canada is really cold.

- In Exeter when I had a bag of pasta and a jar of Dolmio in the cupboard I felt that I was dining like a king. At Carleton when the food selection for the day is Stir Fry, Sandwiches, Pasta, Donairs, Salad, Chicken, Pizza, Mac and Cheese and Omlettes I feel that there isn't anything to eat. Conclusion - I am a self-crowned Princess of Canada.

- In Exeter one book a week felt like an immense effort - an effort which was often neglected and replaced by quiz shows. At Carleton a book a week would feel like a holiday. 2 books, 2 short texts and an essay would feel like the 'norm'. Conclusion - Give me my freedom back Canada. This isn't a conclusion I know, but I've met plenty of people here who don't know the meaning of words that they should so let's just say that I'm trying to fit in. 

In Exeter: 

In Canada:

Conclusion - All the flaws I see in Canadian lifestyle and education are made up for by a slightly different type of squirrel. 

Anyway, these are the conclusions I have drawn as of late and these have nothing to do with the fact that I am actively avoiding reading Huckleberry Finn. 

24 days until Charles comes to Canada. Conclusion - I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who cares about this and I am more likely to be berated for this public display of happiness than for someone to tell me that this is good news. I guess that is the only downside of people thinking you are a heartless bitch - you have to be consistent.

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