Saturday, April 14, 2012

11 days.

I wasn't going to post a blog today, but I'm getting ever further from the big 99/100 goal so I know that I need to step up my game. If I fail I know that the only person that I will have to blame is myself. Also, I suppose this will be a good way to document my final days in Canada before the inevitable amnesia kicks in.

I was going to write that I have been struggling to write anything because since my Dad has left I have been doing essentially nothing. In many ways this is true, but I did go out last night for a final Jess,Alyson and Kate night out. I mean..there shall be more evenings. There shall be caff dinners, 5 pin bowling, dinner at the works, bickering about skype, guitarless singalongs (waaaah) etc. etc. It was a good night..although at first it seemed like it could be some what disastrous. When we first arrived at Patty Bolands the dance floor was empty, and it was like 11pm so it seemed unlikely that it would get more crowded. It became even more tragic when the awkward people who had clearly come out alone took to the floor. However, there was a minor miracle and when the band started to play it started to liven up. This was probably because pub bands basically all play a mixture of the same popular cover songs. By the end our problem was kind of the opposite of the beginning as we were slowly crushed by the deltaalphabetaphipidimiackaiecioe sorority / bachelorette party. When (or I should probably say 'IF' as I don't know if I'll be able to trick anyone into marrying me in this lifetime ) I get married, I would have a bachelorette party, but I would have to reject an awful lot of this tacky, bachelorette scavenger hunt, shouting "IT'S MA BACHERLORETTE BITCHES!!" and if I did I would not inflict it on the general public. The number of times I was stepped on by the party so they could go up and take a picture of themselves on the stage made me resent humanity as a whole. I also suppose that watching a guy take her garter off with his teeth was supposed to be crazy and exciting, but it just made me feel a little awkward. Although, they made me feel less awkward then most. A highlight was people jersey turnpiking (a phrase I learned this year, and a dryhumping act dance move that I have come to despise) to Linkin Park. It was so inappropriate that it was also kind of beautiful. There was also a couple who kept pushing up to the front simply to stand statically and sway as the guy tried it on with the girl and she gave a half-hearted response. Anyway, when it became almost entirely impossible to move we decided to head home with our dignity and most of our money which was nice.

Even though I didn't wake up with a raging hangover today, I decided to pretend like I did as I procrastinated happily until about 3pm.

Apart from my exciting revision schedule not much has been going on. At dinner we did spend some time discussing the surreal nature of the year abroad. It does feel a little bit strange that we'll go home soon and then quickly this whole year abroad will quite quickly begin to feel like an invention. It feels weird while I'm out here that I have a life at home and in Europe..even though obviously I know I do. It is hard to remember that there was a time not so long ago where I didn't even know Carleton existed. I talk to people at home now, but it feels weird to imagine that I was with them in person and that I will be with them again. It even feels surreal talking to Charles. Even though this year hasn't damaged our relationship, I have just become accustomed to him being an image on the screen so if sometime told me that he had never existed and he was just a hologram...I would initially be a bit surprised, but I would probably come round to thinking that was probably the case. Hopefully that won't happen though, because I am rather looking forward to going home and seeing him (and others) in ELEVEN DAYS! I guess when that happens it will be Canada and the canadian public (or the 4 of them that I actually have made the effort to speak to this year) who will become images on the screen.

Well, I fear I am venturing too far into the psychological and it is making me doubt what is real and what is a creation of the mind when really all I want is some more doritos and mindnumbing television - cue The Voice UK. I am enjoying it thus far (I say thus far..I'm 30 minutes into episode one, but it is still satisfying) and as I am a stupid girl I tend to get excited goosebumps every time they press the button and the chair turns. I am living vicariously through them. I want to punch the air every time. It just seems so satisfying. Oh! and now they are playing One Direction over the top - wonderful! The only thing that I really take issue with in this show (thus far. It won't take me long to find many things to dislike it because I am wonderfully abrasive) is Will.i.am. Seriously? What are you doing on a show all about the quality of the voice. Have...have you not heard yourself?? If you want to teach people how to speak like an auto-tuned robot then yes, but I don't see what you have to give to these people who want respect for their voice (well..who want to claim that they want respect for their voice before they inevitably sell out, release a novelty single and go on some Celeb reality TV show). There may be some die-hard will.i.am fans who think I have just spoken blasphemy, but seriously...nobody in a sane state of mind could defend this absolute monstrosity:

No further questions your honour.

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